Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul? Why are you crying the blues?
Fix my eyes on God—soon I’ll be praising again. He puts a smile on my face. He’s my God. Psalm 42:5 (The Message)
Shadowy figures blended together into an immense blur. With one cataract removed, I expected clear vision in my left eye like I had with LASIK surgery several years ago. But I couldn’t read or even work on my computer with a fuzzy reading eye.
Watching TV wasn’t easy with one foggy eye. When I tried to close it, my eyelid kept popping open.
Finally, I positioned myself on the couch with a pillow holding my eye shut. That worked so I could watch a detective program with my distance eye. The cozy pose lulled me to sleep and I missed the end of the show. Thankfully, I could replay the DVD.
When the fuzziness didn’t improve, I looked up the side effect on the Internet. The information said it could last for days or weeks. I texted friends who had the surgery to see how they fared. Most didn’t remember much about bleary sight.
I wanted the problem solved immediately but knew that wasn’t going to happen so I trudged off to bed.
With tape across half of my face to hold the shield in place and my sleep apnea device in my mouth, I laughed at my indistinct image in the mirror.
Way before the sun shone into my room, I awoke and wondered if my sight had improved. But my left eye refused to open. Scenarios swirled. Had the eye drops acted like glue? Perhaps infection afflicted me.
Reluctantly, I shuffled to the bathroom to assess the problem. My eye opened in slow motion when I removed the tape and eye shield. Instructions from the doctor said to not get the eye wet nor touch it for a week. With clean fingers, I carefully took tiny swipes to wipe off the gooey discharge.
Minutes later, I began my morning devotions wearing reading glasses and still not seeing clearly. Instantly, a multitude of tears began washing over my eyes. Grief for Alan not being with me for support. Hope of better vision. Thankfulness for prayers. Sadness for being lonely. Gratitude for friends who bolstered me. Anxiety for not knowing if haziness would remain. Peace from God for all I faced.
The tears continued to flow with emotions spilling out. As they slowed, I looked down at the Bible. I felt like shouting and praising God. Without glasses, words were clear for the first time in years.
God used tears to cleanse my eyes and heart.
Loving Father, thank you for being close to us when we are sad, lonely, thankful, anxious, or peaceful. You can take what seems difficult and make it into something priceless. Amen.
