And we know that in all things God works
for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his
purpose. (Romans 8: 28 NIV)
Three years ago in an instant, I
went from Mrs. to widow. The despised word proclaimed that I was single and
alone. I hated the word and couldn’t
even say it for a long time. Even though I still don’t like it, the word has
connected me to an ever increasing group of women.
On the third anniversary of Alan’s
death, my friend Susie treated me to lunch. Widowhood bonded us tightly after
our husbands died within months of each other. We remember and celebrate
together on our common wedding anniversary date and the birthdays of our
husbands in May. Phone calls and visits replace conversations with spouses. Our
journeys of grief bind us together.
After meeting for lunch, we selected
a restaurant from many on the main street in Sanford. The hostess greeted us
and said our waitress would come to take our drink orders.
We talked for a while and waited in
the pleasant sunshine. When the hostess returned, she said, “ I’ll get your
drinks. Your waitress will be with you soon.”
Several minutes passed as we
continued talking and drinking water.
“I guess I will be your waitress
today,” the hostess said. “Your waitress lost her husband a month ago and is
having a hard time. We’re trying to help her out.”
Susie and I locked eyes. “We are
widows too and are here because it is the anniversary of my husband’s death. Go get her,” I said.
A tearful woman appeared at our
table. We explained that we had both lost our husbands too. She shared a little
of her pain as we consoled her. Her fresh grief brought back our own. If only,
we could relieve it.
As soon as she left, I went to my
car to get one of my books for her. When I opened the car door, my phone
beeped. My son and brother both were checking on me. Their love and prayers
strengthened me to minister to the lonely widow.
We asked our substitute waitress to
get the grieving lady for us. She returned. I handed her the book and explained
a little of my story. I didn’t know if she was a Christian but explained how
God has been with me during my grief journey.
How surprised we were when she said
her dad was a pastor. She is also a Christian and endured the tragic death of
her mother several years ago.
Susie told her that we would check
back to see how she was doing and would pray for her. After more hugs, she left
and we marveled at the situation.
We believe God directed us to that
restaurant so we could minister to the grieving waitress. Thankfully, we were
open to speaking to her. Hopefully, our concern, words of comfort, and prayers
gave her encouragement.
During my journey of grief, God
continually places people in my life who are also grieving. I have learned to
be more open to seeing pain, sharing my story, and offering comfort.
God used our painful experiences to
console the waitress. He can take our trials, heartbreak, and losses and make
something good. That morning one of my devotionals used the theme of Romans 8:
28. What a wonderful preparation for the unexpected encounter.
Dear Lord, you are the Comforter. Guide
me to see pain and use my own experiences to give hope and encouragement. Amen
