Thanksgiving During the Trials

A lifetime of trials seemed to have been condensed into our lives since last Thanksgiving. The gathering at our large home last year was smaller than normal but a happy one. The following day mother’s pneumonia and hospital admission began her spiral downward from independence to a nursing home, hospice, and twenty-four hour care at Ken and Kim’s. A couple of months later, dad followed her journey. His ended in May.

The progression of Alan’s pulmonary fibrosis brought numerous changes. Selling our home, buying a smaller one, moving, and fitting into a new neighborhood. His body  weakened, and he entered the care of hospice. 

In addition to those difficult situations, several other trying ones joined them.

In the cold, dreary, blustery morning, the sun broke through heavy clouds. Leaves rustled. Waves sparkled in the sunlight. It’s appearance signaled hope and encouragement. As I watched the lake, while wrapped in a warm blanket, peace and thankfulness filled me.

God’s presence offers peace and comfort in the midst of our trials. Alan’s disease has slowed us down. He relaxes in his recliner while I sit nearby. We talk. We discuss the past, present, and future. We share concerns, deep feelings, and how God wants to use us.

With his limited time, we focus on what is important and ignore the trivial. We want to let people know they are important to us. Another goal is to make sure others know God is with us and can be with them too. We hope they can prepare for death and not fear it. During this process, we are learning. 

Cards, emails, phone calls, and visits bring joy. They give words of encouragement, comfort, promises of prayers, and let us know how we have touched lives. Though surprised, we are thrilled that God has used us even when we didn’t know it. 

We know the upcoming year will bring changes and probably losses. But as we travel that road, Jesus is holding our hands during the journey.

1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18 Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Lord, thank you for being with us along our journey. Amen

Thanksgiving Story

As I am reading through the Bible, today included Luke 2. The Christmas story on Thanksgiving at first seemed strange. Then I realized it was perfect because of the gift of Jesus.

Thanksgiving Day in America was originally set up as a day of thankfulness to God. Over the years, the holiday has become a day of feasting, football, family gatherings, and shopping frenzies. 

Before delving into the turkey, let’s give thanks to God for his faithfulness, love, and His Son.

Dear Lord, we thank you for loving us and watching over us even when we mess up. Thank you for sending your Son to die for us and to save us. Amen

Alan's Journey

Around the lake, cypress leaves are rusting. Within weeks, they proceeded from green to burnt orange. Soon they will drop to signal the end of a season. Likewise, in the last few weeks, Alan is also moving to his final season too.

In October he joyously gave glasses to the poor of Jamaica. When I expressed reservations about taking the trip, he reminded me that God would take care of him. On his last of twenty-nine missions, he touched citizens of Jamaica, as well as, fellow team members. 

For over five and a half years after his diagnosis of idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis, we continued to travel the world for missions and pleasure. He touched hundreds of lives while the deadly disease scarred his lungs. He beat the prediction of one to three years’ life expectancy and later three to five years. He was slowed and had to make accommodations when his lungs didn’t work properly but wasn’t stopped.

Only in the last month has the horrible disease attacked violently and altered his life. In ten days, he went from not using oxygen at all, to occasionally, and now to full time. Shuffling to the kitchen is like climbing Mt. Everest. Any exertion, such as brushing his teeth or shaving, brings on violent coughing fits and gasps for breath. 

We found out this week that he has a growing spot on his lung which is probably cancer. With his other issues, we decided to not have any treatment for that. In his weakened state, it would only prolong not cure his aliments. 

This week he started care with hospice so that he can be more comfortable. After seeing what they did for my parents this past year, we knew it would be a help for us too.

As terrible as the disease is to endure, Alan says it is all part of God’s plan. He is at peace and knows he will probably soon be with Jesus.  In his living and dying, he wants to be an example of the journey with Jesus.  As his legacy, he wants others to know that same peace in Jesus.

We appreciate so much all of the prayers, emails, cards, calls, and visits. As he gets worse, it is harder for him to talk on the phone or have many visits. I can take calls and relay them to him. He enjoys getting cards and emails which he can read on his new I Pad Air. He has enjoyed it so much and can keep up with the world from his recliner.

Continue praying. We know that God does heal but only He knows when or how. It may be here or with a new body in heaven. 

The Rest of My Birthday Story

My birthday this year on November 7 was one of the worst and also one of the best. During my private pity party, tears moved from trickling to gushing as I grieved for what I no longer had.

Alan had not even mentioned my birthday when we got up like he normally did. I had to remind my mom of what day it was. No calls came to wish me a special day.

As I sat on the patio looking at the lake through tears, the phone rang. My good friend, Sallie, joined my party. We cried, laughed, and cried some more. She was Jesus to me by sharing in my pain.

When I hung up the phone, my party ended. As soon as I stepped into the house, Alan wished me a happy birthday. 

“I had planned to tell you as soon as we got up,” he said. “But I was so concentrated on breathing.”  He hadn’t forgotten. 

Later in the day when I called mother, she didn’t remember our earlier conversation. Right away she said, “Happy birthday.” 

Then we joked about how old she must feel to have such an ancient daughter. She hadn’t forgotten either.

For dinner, Alan and I were able to eat at a lovely restaurant nearby. What a delicious meal we had with a table decorated just for my day. 

Friends near and far remembered my day with cards, phone calls, email messages, and hugs. My Bible study group surprised me with a cake. When they sang, I cried because they cared. 

Chris and Anne invited us for a special dinner. The girls decorated the room and each made a beautiful card. With his 02, Alan was able to be there.

My sister-in-law Kim made sure to get a card for me from mother along with their card. Over and over I was lifted up for several days. I continue to smile and remember family and friends who sent cards that fill the counter. 

Though my day was not as elaborate as some years, it was more precious because of the sacrifices that were made. Alan stored his energy for the day so that we could go out. Family members and friends made sure that I wasn’t forgotten. Each gift was precious. 

God uses His people to comfort others. I was definitely comforted and encouraged by all of the prayers and kind gestures. That made my birthday one of the best. How blessed I am.

2 Corinthians 1:2-4 May the grace and peace from God our Father the Lord Jesus, the Anointed One, surround you. He is the Father of Compassion, the God of all comfort. He consoles us as we endure the pain and hardship of life so that we may draw from His comfort and share it with others in their own struggles.  (The Voice)

Dear Lord, thank you for those who comfort. You are the ultimate Comforter. Amen. 

  

My Birthday Blues

Heavy clouds blocked the sun. Gloom surrounded the lake which matched my mood. Not exactly a cheerful way to start my birthday.

Since last year’s birthday, my life has been an endless stream of struggles. In the dreariness, I relived the pain. There would be no personalized computer card from my dad nor a happy phone call. In mother’s weakened state, she wouldn’t even know what day it was. Alan’s worsening condition made me wonder how many birthdays we would celebrate together.

Tears trickled during my pity party.

Then I noticed God’s birthday gifts. Water diamonds adorned the patio screen. An intricate spider web clung tightly to an adolescent oak. Three gray headed turkeys sauntered across my yard. Crickets hummed softly. A gigantic picture of the forest reflected on the tranquil lake.Tinges of orange edged mature cypress leaves.

God invited me to enjoy His presence. Absorb the peace. Remember that He has always been with me during difficult situations and won’t leave.

The water droplets reminded me to look for sparkles each day. Just as the web was fleeting so are relationships. People come and go. The leaves showed that life is full of seasons with endings. 

If the sun had come out, I would have focused on the spectacular sunrise and sparkling lake. Only in the haze did I notice the less obvious but still lovely beauty. Whether I wake to sun or clouds, I will look for each day’s blessings.

When someone is hurting or brokenhearted, the Eternal moves in close and revives him in his pain. Psalm 34:18 (The Voice)

Dear Lord, guide me every day to see the blessings you provide. Amen.

The Gifts

A sky of dusty pink emerged from the blackness of night. Breaks in the heavy clouds revealed strips of blue patterned with the pink. A silhouetted forest stood silently at attention waiting for the grand entrance of the sun. 

During the past year, endless trials--mother’s illnesses, dad’s illnesses and death, Alan’s progressing lung disease, moving...--gave me times of darkness and gloom too like the shadowy trees on the shore. 

From the scary darkness, the lake and trees appeared. When the sun rose, clouds broke apart. Gradually the entire sky brightened. God’s spectacular painting of pink and blue showed a marvelous display. His presence shouted to me. 

His creation reminded me that from the darkness comes light. He controls the universe including the tiny details of my life. Each day I can choose to focus on the gloominess or the magnificent beauty of the sunrise. 

I am so thankful for all of the gifts in His creation. Each one gives hope. They distract me from concerns. A smile replaces tears. Encouragement fills my heart.

The Eternal is my light amidst darkness and my rescue in times of trouble. So whom shall I fear?  Psalm 27:1 (The Voice)

Creator, thank you for your wonderful creation which enfolds and teaches your children. 

Amen.