Forced Stillness

“Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth.” (Psalm 46: 10 WEB)

            At dawn, heavy clouds ensnared the sun. Rain pelted the lake. In Florida, summer rains normally appeared in the afternoons. 

            Because of the gloom, birds hid. No turkeys, sand hill cranes, or cardinals visited my yard. Silence replaced cheerful bird songs. Even bees refused to flit from flower to flower. Dejected blooms had no visitors. 

            For a couple of hours, the dismal feeling encompassed my sanctuary. It matched my somber mood as I longed to resume my life after enduring a virus, bronchitis, and surgery. 

            But by the end of my devotional time, the weather changed. Clouds slid away to reveal a beautiful, blue sky. A chorus of songs surged into a symphony. A large, black bee and orange butterfly plucked pollen from the blooms. A squirrel scampered within the cypress trees. Lizards scurried up and down the screen. Life had returned and renewed my hope. 

            Even though my debilitating symptoms disappeared, energy remained elusive.  My body quickly rejected most activity. Over and over, friends and family told me to rest and not rush the healing. 

            Reluctantly, I agreed to continue my extended rest. I learned to enjoy reading a variety of books. Old sit coms made me laugh and reminded me of simpler times. Educational shows increased my knowledge on several topics. My forced relaxation helped me appreciate the quiet times. Embrace the solitude. 

            Each day, I read the wall plaque given to me by my son and his family. 

            Be Still and Know that I am God.   Psalm 46: 10

            

            For four weeks, I had to watch church online instead of attending. Last week, Pastor Matt displayed a plaque with the same Scripture. His sermon reminded us to be still even in our trials. Just what I needed to hear. 

            During this time, God has been teaching me to be more patient and trust Him. Hopefully, my time to rest will end soon. Life will resume like it did on my lake.  

Loving Father, thank you for being with me in my trials. Help me to remember the lessons I learned during my time of rest. Amen

Blessings During Uncertainty

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

 (Philippians 4: 6-7 NIV)

            Cool water surrounded me. Even during warm up exercises, I huffed and puffed to keep up. Was I out of shape or was there a problem?

            After the water aerobics class the teacher stopped me. “How are you doing?”

            “I had trouble breathing,” I said. We had talked earlier about my continued problems. 

            “You need to call your doctor,” she said. 

            Because of her health issues, I listened to her advice. As soon as I got home, I called the cardiologist’s office to get an earlier appointment with the physician’s assistant. 

            “We don’t have any openings with Amber but Dr. Jamnadas could see you today,” the receptionist said. 

            “That would be wonderful.” I couldn’t believe it. He was the one I wanted to see but it was difficult to get an appointment with the busy doctor. 

            All the way to the office in Orlando, I marveled at the miracle of seeing the doctor that day. 

            In the crowded waiting room, an elderly lady sat near me. Our brief conversation helped me. The day before, my doctor had inserted stents in her leg veins. Her husband also died of a lung disease, and we lived in the same town about an hour away. Both of us were Christians. 

            After telling her about my situation, she turned to me and said, “Dr. Jamnadas will find out what is wrong with you. He’ll take good care of us.” 

            Her encouraging words helped calm me as I dealt with the uncertainty of my situation but knew God was with me. 

            When a young lady took me back for a blood pressure check and ekg, she looked at my name. “Rebecca, that is a good biblical name,” she said with a smile. 

            Another kind Christian gave me comfort. 

            Finally, an entourage entered the examining room with me. Dr. J and three young people. One lady kept her hands busy on a laptop. The other two listened to everything the doctor said. 

            I answered his questions as he studied my chart. “That should have been in her chart,” he said to the young people.

            He continued probing but his next comments startled me. “You have too many risks and are aging too quickly. Uncontrolled blood pressure. Uncontrolled cholesterol. Strokes. TIA’s. Sleep apnea.”

            Was I on my death bed? 

            He began ordering a whole series of tests. I remembered the words of the lady in the waiting room. 

            “Thank you for looking for a reason,” I said. “Other doctors just kept giving me more medicine.”

            He smiled. “I want to see you back in 48 hours.” 

            He left with his protégés. I later learned that one lady was a new PA and the young man had come from Australia to learn from my doctor. 

            For an hour, the appointment assistant made calls and tried to arrange all of my tests before I returned. 

            The local Christian station played quietly as I waited. “I like your music,” I said. It was another Christian connection.

            “Thanks,” 

            “I have to go tell Dr. J that I can’t get all of the tests by Friday.”

            “ I will pray for you,” I said.

            In a few minutes, she returned. “Your prayer didn’t work. He said to make it work by Friday.”

            She had to start over with the appointments to make sure all tests were done in time. More phone calls but she did it. Her sense of humor kept us laughing. It also kept me from worry about the whole process. 

             My friend, Margot, went with me to my Friday appointment to offer support. 

            Dr. J said, “Your heart is fine. But you have renal stenois.”

            In my mind, I thought I had a blockage in my heart. The good news about my heart crushed my concern. However, the kidney problems loomed and surprised me. 

            I tried to listen as the young man explained the blockage in my arteries. Dr. J continued by telling me about the angioplasty and stents. Hormones released by my kidneys raised blood pressure when not enough blood flowed. My blood pressure should go down so that medications wouldn’t be required. 

            Again, I waited while more appointments were made for the pre ops, post ops and two procedures. Everyone in the office worked efficiently and offered kindness. 

            At each point of the journey, God showed up in wonderful ways and continues to do so with numerous prayers and help from family and friends. The whole process revealed how blessed I am. 

            Tomorrow, the first stent will be inserted after the angioplasty. Please pray for the doctor and his staff. Also, pray that the procedure goes well and I continue to have peace about it. 

Heavenly Father, thank you for the ways you show up at just the right time. Amen   

The Hazy Future

“Are any of us strong enough to give God a hand, or smart enough to give him advice?” (Psalm 22: 2-3 The Message)

            A red ball glowed between the far away trees. Water droplets glimmered on nearby blades of grass. A large black and yellow bee maneuvered through spires of purple and orange blooms that pointed skyward.

            Echoing chirps sounded around the lake. Crickets hummed. A duck formed a perfect V shaped wake on the still water. I loved the beauty of the morning. 

            But minutes later when I glanced up from my writing, a different view greeted me. Beside my patio, I clearly saw the grass and flowers. But haze swept across the lake, water plants, and trees. Faint images replaced distinct ones. Trees blended together into a blurry mass of green. 

            In the foggy state, I experienced a peaceful contentment. A different kind of beauty. A type of wonder and expectation of what was ahead. A time to enjoy the present. 

            After being confined by a virus for too long, my mind conjured a list of what if’s about my upcoming surgeries. While in bed, I wondered if the procedures would be delayed. My mind scheduled people to drive me and stay with me after the surgeries. I didn’t want to inconvenience anyone too much. Worry planning added to my already poor sleep. 

            Then two friends offered advice. When I worried about putting people out, the first one said, “Stop it. You have done that for me.”

            I remembered. I was glad to help her and others when they needed it. I also had counseled friends to accept help gratefully. 

            As I complained about being stuck in the house, the second friend said, “God is telling you to be still.” 

            Both of them gave me good advice and made me think. When I picked up my Bible, it opened to Psalm 46:10. “Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth.” NIV

            That same verse is on a plaque on my wall given to me by my son’s family. What should have been a reminder during my sickness.  

            As the sun rose, the lake and trees reappeared in a beautiful display. The brief haze reminded me that only God sees the future clearly. My complex, worry planning won’t alter His plan. Even though I don’t know what lies ahead, I can learn to be content and trust Him with my future and all the details. 

Loving Father, thank you for wise friends. Thank you for using your creation to teach me. Amen

Homebound and Alone?

Weeping may remain for a night but rejoicing comes in the morning. (Psalm 30:5 NIV)

And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4: 19 NIV)

            Homebound for days. Confined to bed and the couch. Energy waned. When activity slowed, perspectives changed.

            Thoughts of food brought nausea. The endless journey to the kitchen seemed like an impossible dream. 

            Sickness intensified loneliness. No one brought a glass of water. No bread went into the toaster. The kitchen remained untidy. No box of Kleenex by the bed. The light didn’t go off. No hugs or good nights. 

            While I lay in bed, I remembered. Alan took care of me when I was sick and after an operation. Tears came but didn’t linger. 

            After sending a brief message about my recent health issues, I went back to bed. What a surprise to see a full inbox and scores of text messages when I got up. 

            Friends prayed and offered to help. My doorbell rang. Smiling faces greeted a weary one.  Medicine and food appeared just when I needed it. When my appetite returned, more delicious food arrived. 

            Beautiful cards bore heartfelt sentiments and lingered on my counter. Calls came to check on me. 

            In my grief, loneliness, and weakness, God provided. Over and over, people both near and far prayed and took care of my immediate needs. Though at first, I felt alone, I really wasn’t.

            Unless we are vulnerable, we may never experience the fullness and healing of God’s love through other people. 

Loving Father, even in my darkest times, you are with me. I am blessed to be surrounded by countless loving people. Amen

Health Issues

For quite some time, I have had problems controlling my b/p, dizziness and shortness of breath. Last Wednesday during water aerobics, I had lots of trouble  breathing. My teacher told me about her heart issues and told me to call my doctor. They got me in that day. 

Many God happenings occurred during the 3 days of testing but I will write about that later. 

I was prepared to hear that I had heart blockage. What a surprise to learn that my heart is fine. However, arteries into my kidneys are blocked. In the next few weeks, I will have stents inserted in each one. 

I was thrilled that this doctor kept looking to find a cause for my hypertension when others kept adding more and more medications when tests didn't show anything. I don't know if I will be off all medications but he thinks I might. At least, they will be reduced so that I don't have to deal with all of the side effects. 

Please pray that the procedures go well and my symptoms disappear. Right now, I feel like I have a touch of the flu and have been down for a couple of days. Not fun either.