A Nostalgic Pinwheel

On a whim, I placed a Dollar Tree pinwheel in my basket on a recent shopping trip. I certainly didn’t need it but the plastic toy reminded me of my childhood. 

            Occasionally, my parents bought them for my brother and me. We blew hard to make it spin a little. Often, we waved our arms back and forth to watch the wheel go round and round. However, the best times were when we held the playthings high and the wind whirled and whirled the gadget like the windmill next to our house.  In a simpler time, a cheap toy gave hours of fun to two young children. 

            When I got home from the store, I stuck the multicolored pinwheel in the ground by my patio. The gaudy decoration stood out among my lovely flowers but I smiled at the memories it brought. 

            Most days the pinwheel waited patiently for a breeze. Once in a while, it revolved a couple of rounds and stopped.  Despite the lack of wind, the toy continued to shine brightly in my yard. 

            But when strong gusts blew across the lake, the miniature windmill spun furiously. I wondered if the cheap toy would fly apart. It didn’t. 

            In fact, the pinwheel looked the same even though it had been through intense heat, near freezing temperatures and summer storms. 

            Only when I examined it, did I really notice the wooden dowel that held the pieces together. As long as the linchpin stayed tight and in place, the pinwheel could withstand the ravages of weather.

            That little toy reminded me of my life. Sometimes I wait and wait with impatience for something to happen. Then periods of activity come. I enjoy the productive times and suddenly everything stops abruptly. 

            Storms hit and I spin and spin almost out of control. Peace returns for a while. 

            Like my little pinwheel, when I have a strong anchor, I can withstand the waiting, interruptions and trials. God is the anchor that holds me together securely.

 He only is my rock and my salvation; he is my defense; I shall not be greatly moved. (Psalm 62:2 KJV)

Loving Father, you give special gifts to your children in early years and in golden ones. In all circumstances you hold onto us when life can seem out of control. Thank you. Amen    

Out of Season Butterflies

Seek Jehovah and his strength, seek his face continually; Remember his wondrous works which he hath done, his miracles and the judgments of his mouth. 

(Psalm 105:4-5) 

 

My weary body longed for more sleep but my active mind disagreed. Hours before dawn, I padded to my kitchen for a cup of tea. 

 

            Normally, I spend my devotional time outside but cold weather and darkness recently kept me inside. Cool but not cold air greeted me when I opened the door. Should I stay in or go outside?

  

            The outdoors won. With my tea and books, I ventured into the dark. A solitary lamp lit my way and illuminated pages as I read the Bible and devotional books. There wasn’t enough light to see outside. 

 

            Although I couldn’t distinguish anything beyond the screen, I knew I wasn’t alone. Noisy crows cawed to one another. Cars hummed down the interstate. Leaves rustled close by.

 

            Could it be squirrels, raccoons, deer or a bear? I had seen all of them around the lake. 

 

            I stared into the inky darkness for a moment and then continued reading. Only a screen separated me from whatever lurked in my yard. 

 

            Little by little, shadowy figures of ducks, flowers and trees appeared. Semidarkness revealed a lake that wiggled with tiny waves. A hint of color swept across the sky and quickly dissolved. 

 

            After refilling my teacup, I glanced into the mostly dark butterfly cage by my chair. Every morning I checked to see if any Monarchs had emerged. In winter, they usually migrate to warmer areas but five late season chrysalises developed in my cage. As I started to move away, I noticed a change. 

 

            Two butterflies, with wings folded, hung like statues from the mesh top. How long had they been there?

 

            They might have been waiting all night but seemed content and not ready to be released. In the dim light, I couldn’t see their vibrant colors but knew later I would observe the delicate creatures more fully. 

            

            The beautiful, out of season Monarchs reminded me to search for other miracles of hope and peace in our unsettled world.

 

Jehovah, as we face trials in a turbulent world, help us see miracles, even small ones, which remind us of your love, care and peace. Amen

A New Year

Don’t be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what is the good, well-pleasing, and perfect will of God. (Romans 12:2 WEB)

January 1, 2021. When I wrote the date, my mind traveled way back into the previous century. As a child, I blissfully enjoyed childhood in the 1950’s. During the 1960’s in college, I read the book “1984” which projected life far in the future to me. I could not imagine the 1980’s. 

            Years and decades have passed since then. Horrible predictions were made for the turn of the century. Nothing spectacular happened. 

            When I look back at the end of the 1900’s, I remember good times and hard ones. Most memories of 2020 aren’t favorable. 

            But as I face 2021, I look forward to better times despite the chaos and confusion in the world. Instead of my plans for the future, I am praying to know God’s plans for me. To lead me to people who need love and encouragement. Perhaps they need a listening ear, a hug, or to know about Jesus. 

            During the pandemic, I have learned to make plans but be willing to change them when God nudges me in a different direction or to a specific situation. 

            During my devotional time on New Year’s Day, I began a list of people who came to mind. Some face difficult situations. Others joined the list but I don’t know why yet. Each one will be contacted by phone, a visit, card, text or email. It will take me a while to reach each one but I will do it as God leads me. 

            While I enjoy helping people, I know I also need a time of rest. During this year, I plan to work on God’s timetable more than mine. Retreat and rest when I need it. 

            As another uncertain year looms, think of changes you can make. Don’t list mindless resolutions but life changing ones that truly transform your mind and thus your life. If you don’t know Jesus, what better time to meet him? 

Holy Father, thank you for another year. Lead us to fully know you and guide us in your plans. Amen

 

Memories of Alan

My life changed drastically seven years ago today. The man who loved me, protected me, made me laugh and took me all over the world left on his final journey without me. 

 

            During his last year, he constantly prepared me to be alone as we moved to a smaller home in a vibrant, caring community. 

 

            As soon as the doctor said Alan had six months left, I was in a daze. The nurse took him downstairs in a wheelchair while I got the car. My mind couldn’t grasp that the end was so close but he called hospice when we got home. They came out that day to register him. 

 

            He pulled out a yellow legal pad later that day and began making a list of all he wanted to do during his limited time. Almost everything was to make my life easier. He made numerous phone calls to financial institutions and insurance companies to see who I would talk to after he passed away. 

 

            He paid for his cremation. Bought me a new car and told them he didn’t want to play games because he was dying. Day after day he marked off items on his list. I told him to write more so he would be with me longer. 

 

            While he still had strength, he wanted to see family and friends. He told people about the Gospel because he wanted everyone to know Jesus like he did. He even told  the man who delivered oxygen about God. 

 

            The way he faced death was such a blessing to me and those around us. He never wanted sympathy or to focus on his disease. He wanted people to make the most of every day and appreciate what they had. He had peace because he knew he would see Jesus. 

 

            The only regrets he had were that he knew it would be hard for me but he knew I would be ok. He also regretted not seeing our granddaughters graduate or get married. 

 

            A little over two months after visiting the doctor for the last time, he was having more trouble breathing, Hospice said to start a low dose of morphine which made him very sleepy. We laughed because he fell asleep at the dinner table while I was talking to him. 

 

            He went to bed early and when I told him his low oxygen level scared me, he looked at me and said his favorite verse. “Don’t be afraid or discouraged. The Lord your God is with you always. I love you.”

 

            His eyes closed so I left the room. When I returned four hours later to give him his medication, he was on the floor. He had taken off his oxygen and fell on top of the tubes. Even though I sat a few feet away in the next room, I heard nothing. 

 

            His last words of Joshua 1:9 have comforted me constantly and others who have heard our story. His encouragement to me about writing a book finally propelled me to do that a few years later. I had not planned to write a book on grief but that is what I did so that others could be comforted like I had been comforted. 

 

            Although I still miss him deeply, especially during the pandemic, I am thankful he did not suffer long and is with Jesus. 

 

“ This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 (NLT)

Flickering Flames

 

Chilly temperatures kept me inside for my devotional time. One lamp illuminated my dark living room before dawn. I settled down on my couch with my Bible, devotional books and journals. 

 

            Two candles I lit the previous evening caught my attention. Normally, I burned them only at night but why not in the darkness of morning too?

 

            One match lit both wicks. A cranberry one and a taller white one. I stared at the fascinating, pointed flames which rose above the wax. The flames swirled in circles even though I felt no breeze. They danced and then stopped to rest. They reached higher and then lower as wax melted down. Flames stretched upward in a thinner fire. Then down and more compressed. 

 

            Unseen breezes altered their shapes and movement but they continued to burn and brighten my living room. 

 

            Jesus commanded His followers to be lights in the world. We have the same instructions in our dark world. Our present times certainly need light and hope. We should shine even in difficult circumstances. Our flames can dance, lengthen and shorten but should not go out.

 

            Knowing Jesus keeps our lights burning brightly even when darkness and despair attempt to snuff us out. When we become weary and discouraged, the Holy Spirit recharges us. God’s Word refreshes us. Jesus’ Light ignites us and keeps us burning. 

 Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. (Matthew 5:15-16 KJV)

Father, show us how to be lights in the world and keep us burning even when we are discouraged and in despair. Help us show your love to a hurting world. Amen

 

Looking Ahead to the Goal

 

Sunlight beamed through the trees across the lake like gigantic headlights on a dark night. Before the sun peeked above the forest, shadows confined the lake. Water droplets beat out a steady rhythm on the downspout. An occasional chirp drifted through the silent dawn. 

 

            When the sun crawled out of bed, the lake wrinkled like a mussed comforter. Birds awoke. A blue heron circled my yard and landed on the shore. Bird songs joined in a delightful chorus. A pair of ducks swam lazily. Dark, cloud curtains were pushed back to reveal a bright, blue sky.

 

             Just as the dark night passed into a bright, cheerful morning, we can also anticipate an easier, more normal year. Instead of lamenting the past, we can try to make the most of what lies ahead. 

 

            For me, spending time with God in my special retreat gives me encouragement and comfort. When I read of His faithfulness, love and protection, I am reminded of how He has provided for me and He has done the same countless times for centuries. 

 

            When I leave my serene spot, I return to the chaos of the world but not without hope. This week brought news of the death of a friend’s brother, a man’s deep grief at the loss of his wife, a friend grieving the recent death of her husband, a cousin with Covid, and a widow’s injury from a fall plus even more distressing news. 

 

            Every time I learn of loss or heartbreak, my heart aches because I understand their pain. Because of my own losses, I understand and want to offer comfort as I have been comforted. 

 

            I never planned nor wanted a ministry to the grieving but that is what I have been given. Over and over, God has placed hurting people in my life. 

 

            At first, I resisted because I thought their heartache would reignite my own. Sometimes it does but I have learned to embrace them and their sorrows while God refines and teaches me. I am thankful when I make even a small difference in someone else’s life. As long as I can help someone, I feel that is my purpose. 

 

            As the new year begins, I look forward to what God has prepared for me. I don’t want to live in the difficult past or imagine horrible circumstances in the future. We don’t know how many days we have but this in not our home so we should live each day fully with Jesus. 

 

Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body. (Philippians 3:13-14, 20-21 NIV)

 

Father, as we begin a new year, guide us in what we are to do. When circumstances get difficult, offer your grace and mercy and remind us to look forward to heaven. Amen