Reluctant Listener

            A new symptom joined coughing, runny nose, and lethargy. Nausea sent me quickly back to bed. I hated being sick.

            Garbage day. I struggled to my feet and shuffled to the garage to wheel the giant green giant of a garbage can to the street. Then I carried the two recycling bins to the curb and picked up the newspaper.

            After pulling it out of its plastic covering, I scanned the headlines. My brow wrinkled. I tried to read it again. Each time the letters joined together into foreign words. After three attempts, I could finally make sense of the words.

            The incident left me alarmed and shaky. I looked around for signs of life at neighboring homes. No one appeared.

            Inside my house, I read papers on my counter with no difficulty. However, I knew there was a problem.

            I grabbed my I Pad and returned to my chair on the patio. Surrounded by my daily devotionals and my Bible, I opened google first. Because of a family history of the brief, stroke like occurrences, I looked for symptoms of TIA’s. The screen filled. I had no weakness or paralysis. Only one symptom matched my problem. I had trouble understanding.

            Fear and uncertainty grabbed me in my aloneness. What should I do? Call 911? Call a neighbor or Chris? Drive myself to the doctor or hospital? Forget it?

            A little bit of sense returned. I prayed. “God, let me know what I should do.”

            With a sigh, I picked up the devotional by Sabra Ciancanelli for that day from the 2015 Guideposts Daily Devotional book.      

            “What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee. In God I will praise his word,

             in God I  have put my trust… Psalm 56: 3-4 (KJV)

                        “Mom, what is it?”

                       

                        Her voice trembled. “I don’t want to upset you, but I think I had

            a stroke. I’m going to the hospital.”

                        My siblings and I met at the emergency room. “Oh, look at all

            the trouble I caused,” Mom said from her hospital bed. “You all look so worried. I’m all right.” We sat down, crowded in the small examining      room.”

            My heart nearly stopped. Was that God’s answer to me?

            For a while, I wavered. Thoughts swirled. I probably didn’t have a stroke even though that was my first impression. It did go away. Would I have more severe consequences if I didn’t get checked out? Just like the mom in the devotional, I didn’t want to bother anyone.

            The devotional, my Indiana cousin’s insistent text messages to get help, and my son’s phone call helped me decide.

            After numerous tests at the hospital, doctors discovered unknown problems. With treatment and a few lifestyle changes, hopefully there won’t be more strange episodes or additional small brain damages. 

            My experience taught me a few things that could be helpful for everyone who has a problem.

            Don’t wait too long to do something.

            Let people know.

            Accept help.

            Be thankful.

            Pray for guidance. Listen. Act.

            The prayer from the devotional applied to me too.

            Heavenly Father, even in the scariest moments, when I focus on love, You take away my fear and replace it with gratitude. Amen     Sabra Ciancanelli