Tears of Sorrow

Like a dark cloak, sadness shrouded me yesterday morning. I missed talking and laughing with Alan.  Being with my family. Spending time with friends. Attending Bible studies. Going to church. Normal interaction with people. 

            For five weeks, I have been isolated and at home with only a few trips outside my development. Working on projects kept me busy and accepting of the situation. 

            But when I awoke at 4:30 am my mind wouldn’t shut off. The magnitude of the pandemic seemed overwhelming. The effects of the virus far reaching. My 96 year-old aunt is lonesome in an assisted living facility with no visitors, church service or eating with others in the dining room. Several friends have health issues and no certain diagnosis yet. Other lonely widows feel depressed. Cousins work in high risk jobs. Families in turmoil because of losing loved ones. Millions of people are out of work. I wondered when or if life would ever be normal again. 

            While I walked across my dark bedroom, tears started. I didn’t try to stop them. For weeks, I dealt well with being sick and isolated. Like a simmering volcano, sadness and tears flowed. There was no eruption but a releasing stream of sorrow that I knew would not last.           

            At 5:30 am, I turned on my computer and saw a devotional from Pastor Matt. He reviewed the message of his Sunday sermon. Fear versus Hope. Just what I needed to hear. 

            When I moved to my patio, I thought of Jesus during the last week of His life. He also felt sorrow and wept over Jerusalem. He prayed and cried out to God. He knew friends would deny Him. Judas would even betray Him. But He continued teaching, loving and praying even as He faced death. 

            Later, a walk outside revived me. Stopping to talk to several friends pushed sadness away. I chatted with neighbors. Friends arrived later for Easter pictures by the lake. Dressing up in a colorful dress, fixing my hair and adding a cute hat, reminded me of previous Easters. 

            During the pandemic, I need to stay connected to God, family and friends. There will be times of sadness and loneliness, which can be acknowledged, but not a place for me to dwell. 

O Lord, be gracious to us; we long for you. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress. (Isaiah 33:2)

Heavenly Father, give us strength and peace as we continue to face the unknown and deal with the pandemic. Bring people to you. Amen