Mountains rose in the distance as I sat on the deck of the lodge. Rabbits scampered across the lawn. A doe and her fawn emerged from the forest and into the clearing before sprinting away.
Unfamiliar bird songs drifted through the trees. A cardinal darted back and forth. Sunlight gleamed through the woods.
The splendid scenery captivated me on my first morning at Young Life’s camp at Sharptop Cove in Georgia. The peaceful retreat soothed me and calmed my soul. Away from the chaos of the world, I relaxed in the serene oasis.
Although I was a host for adult guests, a last-minute cancellation meant I was alone for two days before other attendees arrived. At first, I was a little disappointed at being by myself in the spacious, wooden lodge but realized the solitude was a gift.
With my retreat high above the rest of the camp and before campers ventured outside, silence enfolded me. My time with God gave me an opportunity to meditate and explore my feelings of grief.
Sadness had come at my daughter Susie’s death weeks earlier. But I hadn’t fully grieved. Being alone in God’s exquisite creation gave me time to think about Susie.
Grief for her began years earlier when poor choices took her into drugs and a turbulent life. I grieved for the normal life she didn’t have and how it affected her family. I longed for a daughter who came to dinner and was part of our family. But that stopped many years ago.
Visits with her in the final years occurred mostly when she was in the hospital. She would call to tell me where she was and I would go see her. In the last few months, she read the Bible I took to her. She asked for prayers for drug addictions to stop for her daughter and herself. Tears came as she spoke.
Friends talked with her about Jesus, and we all believed she knew Him even though her lifestyle had not changed. Those conversations came to mind.
After she entered hospice care, my friend, Sallie, joined me for a visit. Susie thrashed in her bed but didn’t talk to us. As we played Christian songs, she relaxed and hummed along. When Sallie read Scripture and prayed, Susie calmly listened. Peace entered the room and comforted us.
The tranquility of my mountain retreat helped me process the last times with Susie. God’s peace filled me again. Tears sprinkled down my face but not intense grief. Instead, joy filled me as I knew Susie was released from a life of uncertainty, pain and turmoil into peacefulness with Jesus.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)
Loving Father, your love and comfort surround us and take away the pain of this world. This is not our home and we look forward to being with You in heaven.
Amen
