Dark Clouds

Psalm 18:6, 29 In my time of need, I called to the Eternal; I begged my True God for help. He heard my voice echo up to His temple and my cry came to His ears.

With Your help, I can conquer an army; I can leap over walls with a helping hand from You. The Voice

Wind and rain thrashed against my windows. Red numbers announced 4:30 AM. The storm heightened my aloneness. I listened to the turmoil. Within minutes, it stopped.

At dawn, I searched the horizon from my patio. Gigantic, gray puffballs rolled across the sky. Streams of sunlight beamed between the dark obstacles. Cool breezes wafted through the screen. 

I decided to take a bike ride and then finish my devotions later. Suddenly, the lake changed. Thousands of raindrops peppered the water. My ride was delayed.

As I read, clouds raced by. The sun quickly chased the rain away. My bike ride was on again.

Another gust of wind abruptly brought another outburst. Three morning showers were unusual for Florida. 

An hour passed. Sunlight dominated. Most dark clouds moved on. Butterflies and bees flitted from flower to flower. Dragonflies zoomed near the lake. Wind brushed leaves and rippled the water. Sunlight alleviated some of the sadness of being alone. 

Eagerly, I took my pink bike through my neighborhood. Bike riders and walkers greeted me. Drivers waved. Warm breezes touched my face. Shady trees made the ride more pleasant.

Rain allowed dawn coolness to linger. White clouds replaced slate ones. My ride lifted my spirits.

The dark clouds and sudden rain reminded me of the unexpected attacks of grief.  Out of nowhere it catches me off guard. Blasts my peace. Erodes contentment. Brings tears and isolates me. Mocks my attempts to overcome the pain. 

But like passing clouds, it abates for a time. Sunshine returns hope and joy. The grief journey doesn’t follow a predictable path forward. The trip goes up and down. Slides backward, circles, and stops frequently. Struggles become less painful but don’t disappear.  The journey continues and continues and continues. 

Loving Father, thank you for holding me during my pain and distress. Thank you for your comfort as you lead me down the path of grief. Amen