We Don't Know the Battles They Face

Don’t let even one rotten word seep out of your mouths. Instead, offer only fresh words that build others up when they need it most. (Ephesians 4: 29 The Voice)

            “How long has it been?” the bank worker asked.

            “Two years,” I answered.

            “And you are just now taking care of it?” she asked.

            Her question stunned me. I wanted to tell her of my pain for the last three years. The endless paperwork, phone calls and visits to take care of the affairs of mother, dad, and my husband Alan before they died and then after. The grief of losing three loved ones so close together. The difficulty of moving on without them.

            Instead of bombarding her with my woes, I calmly said, “I had a lot to deal with.”

            Her comment annoyed me as I was dealing with taking my husband Alan off my checking account and adding my son Chris. I discovered that it would not be quick or easy.

            Unpleasant memories hit me as I remembered hours spent in banks and on the phone as a trustee trying to navigate the maze of the financial affairs of my parents and Alan. I thought I was finished with all of it but had forgotten to change my own account.

            Instead of one visit to the credit union, there would be three. I returned with my trust documents and Alan’s death certificate. Copies were sent to the legal department for them to analyze. After they finished, Chris and I would both have to return to sign the necessary papers. What I thought would be one brief visit had turned into an ordeal.

            Her nonchalant comment jabbed me like a knife and brought back many distressing memories. But it also reminded me that we don’t know what others are going through. On the outside, they may appear to be fine. However, inside there can be all sorts of pain and conflicts. When they respond with unkind or brash answers, it might be a reaction to what they are going through. Just as I wish she had been less judgmental in her remark to me, I need to remember to do the same. Each day we encounter people who are facing difficult battles.

Father, help me be kind and loving. Guide me as I meet people who are fighting tough battles. Amen