When I was looking back
through my notebooks, I found a writing from last Thanksgiving. I had forgotten
some of my feelings from that holiday. I wonder what this year’s celebration
will bring.
A Tearful Thanksgiving 2015
Rebecca Carpenter
Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In
everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus toward you. (1 Thessalonians 5:
16-18 WEB)
Tears slid down my face. After two years
without Mother and Alan and three without Dad, I thought the day would be
easier. But grief gripped me in a stronghold.
Slick advertisements littered my
counter. Each one urged readers to cut short holiday festivities to shop on
Thanksgiving instead of spending time with family and friends left at home. Didn’t they realize the important gifts were
sitting at home?
Shelves of family pictures in my office, computer images of family times
scrolled across my screen and memories reminded me of those who would no longer
sit at our table.
After my
family moved to Florida, we all gathered at my parents’ home for holidays.
Mother enjoyed cooking and entertaining. We gathered around several tables to
eat and visit.
After
Mother’s health declined, Alan and I hosted family Thanksgiving dinners. We
prepared the turkey together. He carved while I prepared other dishes. Everyone
brought delicious food to add to the meal. It was fun having everyone at our
new home.
Even
though Thanksgiving is a time of thankfulness, we had several difficult Thanksgivings.
When I was eleven, my dad received a call during dinner that his dad passed
away unexpectedly.
The year
we moved to Florida, on Thanksgiving we knew my maternal grandmother was near
death. She died the following day.
On other
occasions, loved ones missed the annual celebration. A husband in Viet Nam. A
son in the US Navy. Work schedules.
One year, as soon as my parents arrived at our
home, the phone rang. Because of a terrible automobile accident, my nephew was near
death in ICU. With little appetite, we ate a little before joining my brother
and his family at the hospital.
While I
thought of my losses, I stared at the gray clouds beyond my patio. Tears
continued to flow. Sadness overtook me. Then I noticed strips of blue in the
lightening sky. Gradually, while clouds danced over the dark ones into a
brilliant expanse of blue.
Tears
slowed. Thankfulness overcame some of my sadness. I tried to focus on blessings
instead of losses.
When I
couldn’t face preparing a holiday dinner, my son’s family stepped in. Anne’s
mom grieved the recent loss of her mother. Chris, Anne, and three daughters
brought joy to the meal.
For
millions of people around the world, what I have left is much more than they
could ever imagine. A loving family embraces me. Friends support me. An
abundance of food. A comfortable home. Plentiful clothes. Travel opportunities.
Good health. Peaceful country. Right to worship. Freedom. My list could go on
and on.
At first, giving thanks in everything seemed impossible but isn’t. I am
thankful for all that I now have and have had. I am trying to concentrate on
what remains.
Dear
Lord, no matter the circumstances, help us be thankful for what we still have.
I especially pray for anyone who has empty chairs at the table. Amen
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