Snuggled together on Emily’s bed, Ashlyn, Emily, and I followed their bedtime routine of reading a couple of books, listening to a Bible story, singing three songs, and praying. After the second book, my scratchy throat made me cough so I told them that I would not be able to sing. That did not go over well at all. They informed me that they wanted the songs.
“I won’t be able to sing and read the Bible story because I am losing my voice. You need to decide which you want.”
Ashlyn took the Bible and said she would read it. I thought that would be a good solution, but I was wrong.
“No, I don’t want you to!!!” Emily cried as she jumped off the bed and ran from the room.
I looked at Ashlyn for an explanation, but she seemed stunned too.
Emily raced back into the room yelling, “I won’t listen!!”
I tried to explain to her that my throat hurt and Ashlyn was trying to be nice. She did not seem to care. Then she rushed to the bed and hit Ashlyn. I was shocked by her behavior since she did not usually do that. During this time, Ashlyn remained pretty quiet and did not retaliate.
“You should not hit your sister. What should you say to her?” I asked.
With anger in her little eyes, she replied, “Nothing.”
Ashlyn looked hurt that Emily did not want her to read, and Emily was mad that Ashlyn was going to read. What a dilemma. Quietly Ashlyn handed me the Bible and said I could read it. We decided that we would share the reading so I hoped that would solve our problem.
With a girl on each side of me, I began reading about Zacchaeus. After Jesus spoke to him, he realized his mistakes and said he was sorry. He told Jesus he would repay everyone four times what he had taken from them.
On the devotional page, the first question was Have you ever been sorry for something you have done?
Emily said quietly, “Like when I hit Ashlyn?”
“Yes, like when you hit Ashlyn,” I replied with a smile thinking she had learned her lesson.
“I am sorry, but I don’t want to tell her.”
I guess she only learned part of the lesson. Her pride would not allow her to tell Ashlyn that she was sorry even though Ashlyn was listening.
It is easy to behave like Emily and know we are sorry but refuse to say it. Sometimes a relationship is strained or broken because no one will utter the healing words I am sorry.
Fortunately, Ashlyn forgave her sister so they hugged and kissed good night. If only all stories could end that happily.
Showing posts with label Lesson from a child. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lesson from a child. Show all posts
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Eating Leaves
When my young granddaughters came for a visit, we took a tour of my small garden. Emily and I each picked a juicy cherry tomato. We popped them into our mouths and savored the juicy fruits. Ashlyn preferred to try some of my herbs. I plucked mint, anise, and stevia for her to munch. All of us enjoyed our treats.
Later Emily told her mom about our adventure. Her description made it seem quite different from what I saw. “Grandma had a tomato. I had a tomato. Ashlyn just had leaves.”
Immediately, I added that Ashlyn ate some of my herbs not just any kind of leaves. Her story was true but gave a different perception than what actually happened.
Word choice is so important in relationships. Various cultures, life experiences, and languages can cause confusion and unnecessary pain when people see things differently. It is easy to become angry, hurt, or dejected because of perceived slights, attacks, or hypocrisy. How important it is to choose words carefully. Many problems could be prevented if people would really communicate.
Later Emily told her mom about our adventure. Her description made it seem quite different from what I saw. “Grandma had a tomato. I had a tomato. Ashlyn just had leaves.”
Immediately, I added that Ashlyn ate some of my herbs not just any kind of leaves. Her story was true but gave a different perception than what actually happened.
Word choice is so important in relationships. Various cultures, life experiences, and languages can cause confusion and unnecessary pain when people see things differently. It is easy to become angry, hurt, or dejected because of perceived slights, attacks, or hypocrisy. How important it is to choose words carefully. Many problems could be prevented if people would really communicate.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
The Mistake
“Grandma, what color do blue and green make?” asked Emily.
I was trying to quickly get her into bed for her nap after returning home from the science center. I knew she was tired and required her rest.
Absentmindedly, as I covered her up, I replied, “It makes purple.”
“No, grandma, red and blue make purple,” she stated with confidence.
I could not believe my mistake and then to be corrected by a three year old! “You are right. I was not thinking.”
Emily started laughing. “Ashlyn, grandma said that blue and green make purple!!”
Both girls giggled at my silly mistake. Though humbled, I joined them in laughter.
The goof caused Emily and I to invent our own game. She sat up, repeated my mistake, and then I pushed her back down. We would both laugh, and the cycle would start over again. The girls even made up a song about grandma saying blue and green make purple. When their mom came home, my goof was instantly relayed to her.
Children can be relentless when they observe a crack in our “perfect” adult persona. Unfortunately, that trait often does not go away when childhood becomes adulthood. Perhaps it makes us seem better as we point out the mistakes and flaws in others. We might say it is for their own good, but the intensity and duration of the “helpfulness”often do not match the offense.
I will certainly not forget what I learned many years ago that red and blue produce purple. I will also think more before speaking to prevent avoidable errors and to prevent unnecessary and unwanted “helping”. Sometimes pointing out mistakes and flaws can be beneficial, but it is good to analyze the motives and methods.
I was trying to quickly get her into bed for her nap after returning home from the science center. I knew she was tired and required her rest.
Absentmindedly, as I covered her up, I replied, “It makes purple.”
“No, grandma, red and blue make purple,” she stated with confidence.
I could not believe my mistake and then to be corrected by a three year old! “You are right. I was not thinking.”
Emily started laughing. “Ashlyn, grandma said that blue and green make purple!!”
Both girls giggled at my silly mistake. Though humbled, I joined them in laughter.
The goof caused Emily and I to invent our own game. She sat up, repeated my mistake, and then I pushed her back down. We would both laugh, and the cycle would start over again. The girls even made up a song about grandma saying blue and green make purple. When their mom came home, my goof was instantly relayed to her.
Children can be relentless when they observe a crack in our “perfect” adult persona. Unfortunately, that trait often does not go away when childhood becomes adulthood. Perhaps it makes us seem better as we point out the mistakes and flaws in others. We might say it is for their own good, but the intensity and duration of the “helpfulness”often do not match the offense.
I will certainly not forget what I learned many years ago that red and blue produce purple. I will also think more before speaking to prevent avoidable errors and to prevent unnecessary and unwanted “helping”. Sometimes pointing out mistakes and flaws can be beneficial, but it is good to analyze the motives and methods.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Taking Risks
The family festival at a local farm was fun for Anne, Ashlyn, Emily, and me. First we picked strawberries from a large field sprinkled with red berries. After putting the berries in the car, we were ready for the girls to explore the various activities.
Because there was a fee for two rides, the girls had to pick one. Both girls decided to try the elephant since pony rides were more common. After waiting for several minutes, it was their turn to climb the high, wooden platform. Emily’s small legs had to stretch to reach each step, but she made it on her own. Ashlyn pulled herself up onto the elephant’s back, but Emily needed a lift. They straddled the huge animal’s back and grabbed the bar that partially enclosed them. The elephant plodded around the small area—plodded along by its trainer. When Anne poised the camera for pictures, the girls grinned. I saw no evidence of fear but only excitement.
On the obstacle course, they ran between poles, crossed tubes, and climbed fences. The only problem was when Emily got stuck at the top of the fence and did not know how to get down. She tried valiantly before asking for help.
During the hayride, Ashlyn declined sitting on my lap when the space was limited. Instead, she preferred to sit opposite us by herself. She calmly looked down at two snakes that were on the ground by her side of the wagon.
While on the swings, Emily kept wanting to go higher and higher. Previously, she had only wanted to move a little bit but was learning to swing herself.
Both girls ran to the zipline to wait their turn. Most in line were older boys but that did not deter the girls. From the high, wooden stand children had to grasp the handles which would take them to the end. A mother, who stood on the platform, helped each child get onto the apparatus before they zipped away. Her husband sent the handles back to her after the ride.
I held the handles so she could boost Ashlyn up. Away she went in a blur with Anne on the ground snapping pictures. Emily was so tiny that she had to be picked and held high so she could grab the handle with her teeny fingers. With trepidation, I watched her zoom down the line hanging high above the ground. At the end, a father caught her and lowered her to the ground. As fast as they could run, both girls returned to the line for another trip. I held my breath until the each finished but laughed at their enthusiasm and courage. I would not have depended on my own fingers to hold me as I flew many feet above the ground.
Every activity they tried required them to face fear and risk, but they did it with joy. I thought of the consequences of what could happen if they fell, but they only thought of the fun they would have. They had a delightful day filled with many pleasant memories instead of regrets for not trying.
Unfortunately, as adults we often think of all the risks which keeps us from experiencing the fullness of life. Of course, we do not want to be reckless but some risks are beneficial. Perhaps by taking a class, volunteering in the community, visiting a neighbor, starting a career, traveling to a different place, speaking before a group, writing a book, or attending church. Each person has specific fears and insecurities to be faced and overcome. Maybe the results won’t be what we desired, but at least, we will know that we tried. There may be wonderful surprises.
When I think of excuses for why I should not do something, I will remember Ashlyn and Emily hanging from the towering zipline with their little fingers holding on tightly while relishing the ride. If they can take risks joyfully, so can we.
Because there was a fee for two rides, the girls had to pick one. Both girls decided to try the elephant since pony rides were more common. After waiting for several minutes, it was their turn to climb the high, wooden platform. Emily’s small legs had to stretch to reach each step, but she made it on her own. Ashlyn pulled herself up onto the elephant’s back, but Emily needed a lift. They straddled the huge animal’s back and grabbed the bar that partially enclosed them. The elephant plodded around the small area—plodded along by its trainer. When Anne poised the camera for pictures, the girls grinned. I saw no evidence of fear but only excitement.
On the obstacle course, they ran between poles, crossed tubes, and climbed fences. The only problem was when Emily got stuck at the top of the fence and did not know how to get down. She tried valiantly before asking for help.
During the hayride, Ashlyn declined sitting on my lap when the space was limited. Instead, she preferred to sit opposite us by herself. She calmly looked down at two snakes that were on the ground by her side of the wagon.
While on the swings, Emily kept wanting to go higher and higher. Previously, she had only wanted to move a little bit but was learning to swing herself.
Both girls ran to the zipline to wait their turn. Most in line were older boys but that did not deter the girls. From the high, wooden stand children had to grasp the handles which would take them to the end. A mother, who stood on the platform, helped each child get onto the apparatus before they zipped away. Her husband sent the handles back to her after the ride.
I held the handles so she could boost Ashlyn up. Away she went in a blur with Anne on the ground snapping pictures. Emily was so tiny that she had to be picked and held high so she could grab the handle with her teeny fingers. With trepidation, I watched her zoom down the line hanging high above the ground. At the end, a father caught her and lowered her to the ground. As fast as they could run, both girls returned to the line for another trip. I held my breath until the each finished but laughed at their enthusiasm and courage. I would not have depended on my own fingers to hold me as I flew many feet above the ground.
Every activity they tried required them to face fear and risk, but they did it with joy. I thought of the consequences of what could happen if they fell, but they only thought of the fun they would have. They had a delightful day filled with many pleasant memories instead of regrets for not trying.
Unfortunately, as adults we often think of all the risks which keeps us from experiencing the fullness of life. Of course, we do not want to be reckless but some risks are beneficial. Perhaps by taking a class, volunteering in the community, visiting a neighbor, starting a career, traveling to a different place, speaking before a group, writing a book, or attending church. Each person has specific fears and insecurities to be faced and overcome. Maybe the results won’t be what we desired, but at least, we will know that we tried. There may be wonderful surprises.
When I think of excuses for why I should not do something, I will remember Ashlyn and Emily hanging from the towering zipline with their little fingers holding on tightly while relishing the ride. If they can take risks joyfully, so can we.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Small Celebrations
"Hello, Ashlyn," I answered but was surprised that she was calling past her normal bedtime.
"I have some exciting news!" she exclaimed.
"What is it?" I asked.
"I just lost my first tooth!"
I could hear the excitement in her voice and imagined her now partially toothless smile. She continued talking and told me the tooth came out when she wiggled it.
"I am going to put it under my pillow. Daddy woke Emily up to tell her too."
I could hear Emily talking in the background. Then Ashlyn stated, "I have to go to bed now."
"Thanks for calling."
I hung up the phone and thought of the special moment she had shared with me. How momentous it was for her--a passage into a more mature stage of childhood. More teeth will come out but probably not with the fanfare of the first one. The enthusiasm of a child is contagious if we do not snuff it out with our lack of interest or cynicism.
As adults we have been hit with pain and disappointments so we frequently neglect to commemorate or even notice the small milestones and accomplishments that are before us. Life can take away our spontaneity and zeal so that we become sluggish and boring. Ashlyn's special moment reminded me that life is filled with small, but meaningful celebrations. What will I see today? Let me know what you find in your life to celebrate.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Don't Call Us
Six year old Ashlyn and I were talking on the phone recently and discussing my recovery from surgery. I told her the doctor thought I was doing well but had to be careful for a while.
"After I opened our large sliding glass door yesterday, I was hurting," I told her.
"Grandma, put a note on the door that says 'Do not open'," she stated.
" That is a good idea," I said. "Also, I can't use the vacuum, and the floors need to be cleaned. Grandpa can't use it either because of his back."
"Put a note on the vacuum too," she giggled. "You should get someone to help you."
"I had thought about that," I answered.
"Just don't call us!" she stated matter-of-factly.
We both started laughing at her statement and continued with our conversation.
Later when I thought of her answer, I laughed at her honesty. As adults we are often quick to give advice, notice faults, and criticize. However, when it comes time to take action, we answer "Don't call us!!" It is much easier to complain than to be part of the solution.
"After I opened our large sliding glass door yesterday, I was hurting," I told her.
"Grandma, put a note on the door that says 'Do not open'," she stated.
" That is a good idea," I said. "Also, I can't use the vacuum, and the floors need to be cleaned. Grandpa can't use it either because of his back."
"Put a note on the vacuum too," she giggled. "You should get someone to help you."
"I had thought about that," I answered.
"Just don't call us!" she stated matter-of-factly.
We both started laughing at her statement and continued with our conversation.
Later when I thought of her answer, I laughed at her honesty. As adults we are often quick to give advice, notice faults, and criticize. However, when it comes time to take action, we answer "Don't call us!!" It is much easier to complain than to be part of the solution.
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